the primary fiddle: One.

It's still surreal to me that my baby boy is one year old. It feels like yesterday we were bringing him home to meet the puppies for the first time and changing tiny little newborn outfits (a million times a day. amiright, new mamas?).

There is so much to say but I'm tongue-tied about where to start. It's absolutely amazing how many changes happen in the first year- physical, emotional, intellectual- for baby and parents. We've watched Alden go from a helpless blob to an active, personality-filled little boy and there have been SO many wonderful things along the way!

I joked with Nick that one of the things that made me feel like a Mom was getting the invitations ready for Alden's birthday party. For so much of the time as a new parent, you feel like you're figuring it out as you go and, only slightly, staying ahead of the game ;) Then, all of a sudden, you wake up one day and really feel like someone's Mom. "Mama" feels different to me than "Mom"- I've always been Mama, but Mom took a little longer. Maybe that doesn't make sense to anyone else, but I think I'll always remember the moment (as I was stuffing invitations into envelopes) when I looked up and said (for the millionth time, but with no less amazement), "Wow, I'm someone's Mom".

Over the past year there have been moments of every emotion possible. Lots of exhaustion, bits of frustration, fear, irritation, and annoyance. There have been days where I felt so overwhelmed I honestly didn't know how I was going to manage one more day, days when I was so worn thin that I wanted to climb into bed and sleep for hours. But then, there are the moments of total joy, pride, laughter, entertainment, and unconditional, limitless love. The days when I find myself looking around and thinking, "how did I manage to get the exact life I wished for?!" Days when I could cry because I am so completely happy and am completely secure in the fact that I am just where I belong. It's this crazy, roller coaster of emotions that is parenting and we're still figuring it out but, all in all, I am loving the ride :)

We celebrated Alden's actual birthday on the 3rd with a quiet day at home. Since Alden was sick (coincidentally, so was Nick on his 1st birthday), we kept everything really low key and let him sleep and get some extra cuddles. After a whole day inside, we finally ventured out to the park once Alden seemed like he may be feeling better. We had a nice, relaxing time watching the big kids play and letting Alden get some fresh air while he, reluctantly, cruised around the playground. Even though it was short-lived, we were happy that Alden got to do something fun on his big day. By the time we got home and Alden ate dinner he was so tired and feeling so bad that he didn't even get to eat his birthday cake :( Instead, he took a bath and went to bed early; but not before Mama and Daddy sang him a special Happy Birthday :)